I was on a first date with a guy on a Saturday night. While we were trying to pick out a movie time, I mentioned that I didn’t want to go to a late show because I had church in the morning. His response to this? “Oh. The last time I was in a church I was fucking my ex-girlfriend in the ass on the altar. She was a minister’s daughter.” Now, I’m not uber-religious, but ass-fucking on an altar just seems like taking it a bit too far. Dealbreaker.