I am in my early 40s. I dated a guy for a few weeks and the second time we had sex he had on a pair of Joe Boxer shorts that said “The Big Banana” on them. He told me his mother had gotten them for him! Total dealbreaker.
Archive for category Bad Sex
The Big Banana
Mar 16
The Side Fling
Feb 5
I had a great date with a guy at a pub near my house. We went back to my place, had amazing sex and then he left. The next morning he called and said “I like you a lot but I have a girlfriend. But I’d like to meet up again soon.” I guess he was just looking for an ongoing side fling? No guy is THAT good. Dealbreaker.
I was on a date with a guy that I met online. We had exchanged emails and talked on the phone. We went to dinner and afterwards went back to my house. We started making out. Things were getting hot and heavy and he whispered, “Suck my dick, bitch”. I thought I must have heard him wrong. I asked him what he had said, and again he repeated, “Suck my dick, bitch”. At that point I told him I didn’t appreciate being spoken to like that and that he needed to leave; I wasn’t going to sleep with him then or ever. He told me I should be glad that he didn’t make me sleep with him right then. Bad dirty talk and threatening forced sex? Dealbreakers.
The Cock Block
Sep 16
My friend is currently online dating. She had a really bad breakup and decided to try for one of those online sites Cupid something or other. She went out on a date with this cute guy, things were clicking and all was going well. She went back to his place and they started fooling around. They were practically naked when he suddenly stopped and said, “Just so you know, I’m a virgin.” WTF?! Deal breaker!!! Needless to say, she didn’t want her rebound one-night stand to be taking someone’s virginity so she gave him a quick sympathy BJ and split. Then he wound up stalking her. Seriously, though. Why would anyone (a dude, no less) who is about to get boned for the first time admit that its his first time?! He totally cock blocked himself. Dealbreaker.
The Quick to Cum Guy
Jul 20
I was dating a guy for a few weeks and we were finally going to have sex. I’m on his bed and we start making out. Before we even got a chance to take off our clothes he came. It was only like five minutes and then he rolled over and wanted to go to bed. Quick dealbreaker!!
I was out with this guy who I really liked, and we met up with his friend, and as the night wore on it became clear than they wanted a three-way with me, which I could theoretically have been into. But they were like best friends, and they wanted to get naked together…in the same bed…? Dealbreaker.
The Drooler
Jul 6
One time I was having sex with a guy and I guess he got so carried away, he was drooling, and I could see this big glob of drool dangling from his lip and before I could figure out what to do it FELL ON ME. Dealbreaker.
The Nipple Pincher
Jul 1
Had a huge crush on this guy for a while and we are finally making out at a party one night. It’s starts to get pretty steamy and then…he wasn’t so much caressing or pinching or even tweaking my nipples but rather taking his thumbs and jamming them into my nipples, like he was trying to invert them into a bellybutton. Dealbreaker.
The OCD Guy
Jun 23
So, I had been dating this guy for a couple weeks. Went over to his place to watch a movie and things got really hot. Right after… the main event… he asks me if I could stand up for a second. He wanted me to stand up so he could throw the sheets in the wash RIGHT AWAY. Turns out I’m dating someone with OCD. (what guy cares about the sheets when there is a naked girl in their bed????????) Dealbreaker.
The Quickie Guy
Jun 21
After a date, my boyfriend’s idea of seducing me into bed is pulling into my driveway, turning to me, and asking “Can I get a quickie before I go?”. Every single time. Dealbreaker.