We have arranged to go hiking, I show up at his place so he can drive us. I get in his car and see he has gauges that indicate he’s tricked out the engine. I ask him about it, he talks a little about it, then guns his engine up to 70MPH in a 35 zone. We get out onto the highway and he drives normally until anyone else with a nice car, or someone who wants to go faster than the speed limit comes near, and then he’s all gunning and swerving and breaking. He has the music turned up so loud I can hardly hear myself think much less have a conversation. I still try to ask him questions, he answers briefly and then drops the conversation.

We arrive and we start to climb, and I realize I’m in over my head about half-way up. We stop to rest, and he runs up ahead and waits for me to catch up. This happens about 4 times before we reach the top. The conversation continues to be one-sided. On the way back down he starts spitting and shooting snot-rockets to the side of the trail. Then there’s evidently some dude who’s got his shirt off, so he declares he has to compete and takes his off too. At this point I’m so turned off I don’t even look at him. He asks me who looks better.
“Of you and me?”
“Me and the guy with his shirt off.”
“I honestly didn’t even see him.”
We get back to the bottom, he asks if we can go eat grasshoppers at a local sushi restaurant. Yeah, sure, but you need to let me get my car first. So we head back and the driving gets 10x more showy and I’m no longer able to suppress the urge to scream or crawl out of my skin. I’m nearly in tears at this point, and when I get out to get in my car, I’m shaking so bad I can barely operate the keys. I fiddle with the radio for long enough to calm down a bit, then lead him out. We get to the sushi restaurant, he declares that he has $6 to his name and will get 2 grasshoppers. I order one for myself. He decides I should eat the small one. So many dealbreakers.